Back again after a long time and brimming with words to type :). Considering the kind of sabbatical I take from one blog to another, makes me sound like a Michael Jordan wannabe (Jordan always called his sabbaticals retirements). Well the last blog I wrote about was MOVING ON! Such a dampener as I am still there, the only difference is I don’t have any New Lady Part 2 :P. So the question is, what am I supposed to be doing considering I talked so much about embracing the new fears and joy. Well, I embraced this new fear of being single.

Kind of cliched the way I put it, but we all are afraid of ending up alone. When I say ‘WE’ I mean all you guys and girls, we are all subject at that concept of being lonely and insecure. Truth be told, I was as well very caught up with the concept of NOT BEING SINGLE, anyhow! :). There will be some of you men and women thinking, I am not afraid and I don’t think it should matter. You know your just kidding yourself, you would certainly like to be with that perfect someone and have a perfect life. But you and I know, the reason we end up being single is either we don’t appreciate or don’t get appreciated :D. Yes there are the others who don’t appreciate or don’t get appreciated, and still stick in a relationship or a marriage. But ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you that they are leading far more miserable lives just for the sake of companionship.

I could encounter my fear of singularity, because it is easy and fulfilling to lead a life which didn’t have standards to live up to. Life is a breeze, when the only thing that you can think of is the next day at the job and how you can give your best. Sometimes in a strange way, its good that you have not been appreciated as it only strengthens your resolve to up the ante. By the time you give your best and go away, your void will be felt in every way.

Having said that, to all the single ducks and ducklings, our single life is a testament to the fact that we have learned things the hard way. The fact is, learning the HARD WAY always pays!

Till Later Folks, I’m Out!

Hey Guys, I am back up. Been away for so long my fingers are gone rusty. Almost thought by blog page was going to be ancient history. The truth of the matter is my mind was suddenly blank in terms of what to write. But guess I found my calling and the reason for me to type the keys on the keyboard.

Last time I left the blog, I was coming out of a bad break up. Hm, probably my first ever break up hence I was an emotional meltdown. Johnny Boy is witness to that and so were many of my other friends. But you know, whats the best part of a break up, you get to Move On. It sounds damn cliched, but moving on helps you make peace with past and welcome the future with open arms.

I mean when I first thought about it I cringed to the very thought. But 9 months down the line I am best friends with my EX, people ask me “Where is she?” and I without a qualm say “We’ve broken up but we are best friends” ;), there is a new Lady in the house and there is this amazing Insecurity about the new Lady. That is called Moving On! I just remembered Moving On also includes embracing new fears and getting worked about things you couldn’t before.

So how do I meet the new Lady everybody asks me. Well I say it once and I will never repeat it again, we made out and we found solace in each other. Simple and No Complications Story. Sometimes it goes good and sometimes it goes bad, but you cannot deny that its the most amazing experience. Over a period of time I guess I will have a lot of stories to tell about this journey with the new Lady. But I can tell you one thing I have already experienced joy, comedy, horror, thriller, suspense, sadness and most of all Jealousy :).

Will keep you updated peeps, have so much to write about.

Peace Out!

Well some of my closest friends know what I have been going through for the past 4 weeks. I mean this sucks, to put it on this blog. And no, I am not whining anymore. Its over!

I just took some time yesterday analyzed my behavior, I was astonished to find I was acting just like the guys who I despise. Maybe I was easily blown by the events, and didn’t count on my strength to wither it away. But the distress just came in and in and was shaking the inner me. I don’t where I was for that moment of 4 weeks. I suddenly realized I was becoming a weak arse mofo, I thought everyone was against me. Some things so trivial were being blown out of proportion by me. I guess the whole concept of me being self involved took effect. Truth be told, the recent emotional meltdown was not experienced by me ever. To a certain extent, I am the one to be blamed for this whole satire. But I realized in the end, the joke’s on me, and my ego took a hit. Yeah I never knew I had a Big Ego, but I guess I turned out to be the proverbial pigs.

So in this whole mess which I created, I have understood one thing and through this amazing friend who I befriended recently. She told me this one sweet line “Get Your Ass Off, Start Moving”. She made me realize what a sorry figure I am becoming, she said that reason I acted like this, is because I couldn’t imagine this was coming. And since it came, my pride took a hit as I felt I wasn’t given importance. :). Well I told her I know you said something so bitter, although I know your right, its tough to swallow. She said “Sach Ka Saamna”

Cause of the above I was getting stuck in the past and wasn’t accepting the present. This made me a total woosy who whined like no one’s business. So before I fell more in the dumps, I had to pick myself up. I decided to forgive myself and hope that I have been forgiven for everything else I have done. I decided I had to start smiling and be myself the cheery PJ cracking fool that I am. And wallah, I wake with a smile on my face and it stays with me till the time I am sleeping now. I have no clue what the future holds for me, but I know my friend who is reading knows what I will be doing “Looking Straight and Going Forward!”

Thanks to all my friends who helped through this. Especially one Brother (Lucky Boy) from my Brotherhood and my Orlem Chick! But Most Of All Jonny Boy I know your reading this, Thanks! You Brought Me Back!

I was just talking to my friend, who constantly gets calls on ‘where she is and what she is doing’. You know sometimes, it can get irritating for that person. But you know when I look at her she doesn’t have qualms about it, for a simple fact there is so much care and concern as she is her mother. To people out there I may sound sentimental, but understand this you and your parents share a bond which no one can replicate.

Ask me, I lost my Dad when I was 15 and my Mom when I was 21. It was tough initially cause I was the person to not consider consequences. Come to think about it I really got mature in my thinking very late in life. I never really understood life or took life for granted, as after my Dad’s death I had my Mom to Love me and care for me and also take care of the financial needs. Then one day she had gone from my sight.

You know we take all these aspects concerning our relationships with Parents for granted that we do not know or dont care about the underlying truth. Even a simple thing like my friend getting a call from her Mother makes me miss my Mom immensely. For a simple fact that there is no one other that one special person sent by god to whom you could pour your heart out to. In my case it was my Mom, I am sure with others it could be your Dad or Big/Small Brother or Sister. Right now when I writing this blog, I am in great pain as I have no words to describe it. But at the same time I know, if I had my God sent angel next to me, my heart would have been lighter.

I have no recourse, I dont think I can share this pain with anyone. But I know, you guys should not miss out. Just look at your Parents and tell them how much you mean to them. You don’t need to gift them anything, but unexpectedly tell them that regardless of their faults, you love them no matter what. Happiness is when all are around you, Grief is when your Folks will stick with you.

Hope I Release This Pain, Adios Amigos!!

Many friends out there know me as a loner, have never really ventured into the wide world per say. Probably I am content to stick in living with minimal desire and maximum happiness. But I also believe in acting on emotions, not worried about the road ahead. Some of these emotions may not have been right and may not have been in the best interest in terms of my life, but you need to have the balls to call it stops.

But I have realized that acting on something leads to consequences, and they sometimes can be as painful as a root canal in a dentist’s clinic without anesthesia. It really feels like something has pierced you through and through, and you don’t have words to describe the hurt. At this time, all you can hope for is that your action should call lenient action or be forgiven. So to all people ready to act on something THINK AND ACT, you can do something mindlessly but be ready for the shit that is going to be thrown at you. Cause Shit Stinks And You Will Too!!

Lets talk today about getting something unexpected. Put yourself in my place when I say this (and I mean only the guys), I get a call from my friend (a really close old buddy right down from my school days) saying something like this “Hey Dude, whats up? How you doing?” I return the pleasentaries by asking how he is doing himself. He then says with a deep baritone ”Dude I am not sure if you have heard this….I have already informed the others about this”, at this point I am thinking something bad has happened and I am gracing for the worst considering I feel its some disaster. The next thing he says “I got ENGAGED last week….”

Pretending that I didn’t hear that correctly, I asked him to say that again. He says “Dude im ENGAGED!!”. The first thing I do is break into a laugh, the next thing I do is check if its 1st of April. I retort back “Cmon Bro, Shut Up!”. He says “I am serious im Engaged”. My smile turns smaller and smaller by the second cause its not the 1st of April and my friend’s Gawd Damn Serious. All I can think about at that point “What The Hell is happening?”, I mean this friend of mine never seemed to have a relationship ever since I have known him. We used to talk about how marraige is not on the agenda and be bachelors till we can survive on our own ;).

All that changed with this one line, but being my friend and chaddi buddie I him wished all the best and congratulated him on the new step he has taken without any malice. The next thing I am thinking now is what is going to happen to our BrotherHood. Well for those who don’t know BrotherHood basically consists of all our friends from school especially the one which used to attend Hindi-Marathi tutions together. We call it the Martiso Brotherhood (named after me as we used most time at my place). So coming back, the Brotherhood’s pillar was my friend whom we thought will ensure our hood survives the test of time.

When I asked my friend what made him decide to get engaged, he said he just knew it as he really had fallen for the beautiful lady whom he knew the past 4 months. Truth be told, I would kill for a feeling like that and that is why I am even more Happy for my friend. But this just puts undue pressure on the other guys who have relationships. I know another BrotherHood member who is 7 YEARS (Freaking 7 YEARS!!) in a relationship, I can almost feel the noose being tied around his neck soon. Another friend from Hood got saved by the bell, he just told me recently he broke up with his girl, LUCK BUM!! As for me, I don’t know yet, I dont believe im in that state where I can see marriage. I know for a fact 3 years 6 months should be a decider, but I just believe in more time to know and be more compatible.

So to all those guys out there, if you even have the slightest feeling that you see yourself with someone for the rest of your life. Just Go For It!! You will never regret that decision you made.

Cheers Till Laterz.

Wonder why people fall for someone! Is it because there is bliss if the person accepts your feelings…or because you will feel better about yourself. And when there is no acceptance what do you do? Do you sit back and think about how stupid you were falling for her/him. Ever met the right people at wrong times which makes you leave the whole reality of life behind you. Some do, they take a risk and get either pain or eternal joy (not the ideal kind) but these people always cherish the risk they take.

What happens to those who don’t, do they fall in their own pit of death or do they compromise with life and accept the path that proceeds. In either case whether you take a risk or don’t you have set yourself for pain no matter how cordial or comfortable you feel about the other person. Especially when you don’t do something about it you have those pangs of jealousy, anger, envy. Sometimes you think its not worth it, but the next moment you think he/she deserves my estranged behavior.

To cut the long story short, to all those who can understand what I have written….that ACHE is just not worth it. Don’t intentionally or unintentionally let your emotions flow, think and understand! You don’t want to Put Yourself Through That! Say No To The ACHE!!

Well last night I was privy to a party with just some of colleagues from work..and all of them chicks…all of them beautiful..intelligent (unless they are not drunk)…complete party freaks..and damn SINGLE.

See I don’t have a problem with the girls being drunk and even being quirky when it comes to Parties. My problem is when they start looking for CUTE BOYS when they are drunk. This goes out to all the girls who are reading this…when you start looking for a guy who is cute regardless of his status (single or commited)…even if your drunk…please do not shout in front of him “Your Cute”. That jackass is understandably elated but what he is thinking now is ‘I’ve got easy meat’…I am sorry ladies, when you complient some indiscreet Guy in a Party he has come to get find his mojo, 9 times out of 10 he will start thinking from his dick. Serious! I know cause ive been there…and you girls don’t need to look at me with a “I didn’t expect this from you” Look..PLEASE!!

When you find the guy cute and he is with other guy friends, don’t bother giving him the number..Know why,  have you heard of the proverbial ‘Stalker’ who calls you Day and Night asking for ermmm…”Lets Get It On Sweety”. Unless you have death wish, I don’t think anyone wants to do it.

So what do you do, you might ask, Your Single and Drunk to the Core, you see a really Handsome Man in a party and you wanna do something about it. Simple, go to the nearest Loo, puke all the crap that you just drunk, splash some really Cold Water on your face…go back to the party. Now your almost back to your senses, you’ll realize this Cute guy your looking at has got a Big Mole on his Mofoing Nose and a bad Body Odour. In a matter of minutes your Cute Guy will turn out to be a Freak Of Nature..

I hope iv’e inspired some women folk out here..;D

Till then Laterz..

I am sitting on a Saturday afternoon, wondering what to write. You know things don’t come into your head that easily. To write about something how you feel is sometimes difficult to put it in words. So I am just wondering does every person writing a Blog go through a Writer’s Block..

I mean lets take me for example, this week I had many things happening..from my Work, to my Family, to the Weather, to Ronaldo being transfered, to India loosing to West Indies. I’m trying to understand what impacted me the most. But Nada..

So this hit me, maybe things are supposed to happen to collectively make an impact on you. Don’t know if what I am saying in pin-point correct, but a whole series of events maybe in a defined period make you more experienced in life. And when you do a micro analysis, you just find out its so true..

So guys when you want to think about the things that have passed you by, don’t think about that one single incident, maybe there is more to it.

Cheers Till Laterz..

When you look around on a busy working day, do you feel that something bad would happen. Is there a premonition that you are going to get F****D somewhere between lunchtime and your time to leave. Do you have nightmares that when turn your Computer on, it will not accept your Username and in Five minutes you been asked to meet your Boss in a closed room for an ‘Unexpected Meeting’.The Centralized AC is blowing hail stones, but your body for some reasons perspires uncontrollably when you approach the room. Or you have a Bad stomach and its making all funny noises and those noises suddenly reach your gut.

Well what do you do in this case, you damn well know what you are headed for. Do you create Excuses or be a No Show. I have some ideas to avoid the situation:

1. You can get up from your seat and head towards the room, but before you reach the room for some DRAMA right in front of your boss, you will fall down and convulse…puking out the milk you just had a minute back.

2. Considering that you knew this meeting is coming, you can just fill your stomach up with grossest shit you can ever have to produce GAS. eg. Sweet Potatoes by the Kilo will surely do the trick. Believe me your Boss wouldn’t want you around nauseating his breath and finally making him faint.

3. If your lucky and have come across some Racy pictures of your Boss with your Colleague, do let him know before he talk anything. Tell him how good he looks in those snaps and how you wish you’ve had an oppurtunity to meet his wife to let her know so.

4. Before the meeting, take you boss out for small drink to the Local Bar, telling him you want to end your life and don’t have any recourse. Being the Bitchy Understanding Boss that he is, let the MOFO drink the Local Bar best drinks and get him freaking pissed drunk.

5. If the above 4 don’t work my brother/sister/girlfriends you don’t stand a chance in Hell.

Later Bitches!!